Resolved: Thought(s) On funerals

Funerals are hard for me, and that is part of the reason "I don't really do" them , because they are so hard, long and fake..oh, and early...

Idealy, a funeral is the one place where you should "get it how you live", but propriety stifles people from telling it like it is strangely enough, in the last place they probably will be able too.


There is this scene from Holiday Heart (2000) that comes to mind,  where the dead man's male lover (who lived with him as a husband) was singing his favorite song (Baby Love, Supremes)  at the funeral, and the parents and miliatry co-workers were disgusted and ultimately demanded his removal. This reminded me that all of this pretending done in life, to please people, to make money, meet our goals and the expectations placed on us by others, won't be rewarded by an authentic remembrance in death

Regardless of what you do and who you are, you will be remembered in a way that is socially acceptable to the living. Your stains will probably be whitewashed and if you read your obituary, you probably wouldn't recognize you-as you. I know I had a hard time resolving what was written about my deceased relatives with the people I knew and loved daily...So I am representing  like:

dressed up at the funeral...because Harlem stays fresh

Yet, quite honestly in my heart , I don't think the kids of a deadbeat father (emotional/monetary) should be expected to go to their fathers funeral, merely because he was their father,via biological fulfillment. I don't feel that children of abusive parents or battered husbands (or wives) should write a one-sided obituary celebrating someone who they don't really feel deserved celebrating and so on...I think modern funerals are a grand finale in the overall unauthentic life pattern expressed by modern humanity.

Maybe the if 'folk' knew they will be exposed, by the celebration/lack there of-they would act accordingly in life.

Unfortunately, We don't live for ourselves and we don't die for ourselves or even as ourselves.

We should just be able to put some people in the ground and say:



literally and figuratively; then go to "red lobstas" and keep it moving.

No false pagentry, to say we did it.


 No wasting money:



Just...



-Gentrifried