Born sinner: I cheated on my boyfriend.

                                              "I was born sinning, but I live better than that"

Word, finally a rap song about being introspective and making a decision to just live better even though life is crazy and has you surrounded by people who will oft times convince you to do stuff you shouldn't....or try to convince you to live your life, according to their plan. It's sinful:  Ellen thinks so too-I love when people just "do them"

Moving on to real life...The woman who was washing the "NSSO's" underwear at her house, kept hitting me up on facebook saying happy birthday and liking my sexy pics (all of my pics are default sexy)...She is all "free", so this probably means she wants to have sex with me, but even if I could get past this betrayal of the "G Code" , as Nene Leakes calls it, I still wouldn't be bothered with her-even if I could rent my worst enemies vagina to do  so...

Fast forward, I entered a new "real relationship", while I was angry about what happened in my previous relationship and still unsure about feelings for the the other person in my new "real relationship". Furthermore, I have had enough bad experiences to have moments where I am like:
 

So getting into a relationship is well, ...a Bad idea!
 But  bad ideas are seductive, so I did it anyway...

On Love: Do you really sleep with white women? do you feel bad about it?

So my mom dated Ving Rhames. Legend has it, he cooked her dinner in his home-but she didn't like him...But she never likes anyone cool.

She messed it up for my brother and I;  our dad could've been a movie star, an underrated movie star who once dressed as a woman, but a movie star none the less...Anyhow: My first experience with Ving was a little less personal:

 I saw him in the film Holiday Heart; (the snippet is one of my favorite scene) It made me think, about love and the Holidays: What does it mean to love? Granted when you are into someone, you recognize the flaws in their humanity, but you can look past it, generally , everything becomes negligible.  However, we cant always count on the people in our family, friend circle and other "informed outsiders"to be so diplomatic. This can often add all sorts of:

to your recipe for "grand love, especially now  that we are in the throes of the holiday season.

Grammar: why, how and where it matters may surprise you...

So...I online date...

Yeah, I know,  many people think its a horrible idea; because I am too good looking, too successful (cough ! cough!) and too together (hack cough) to seek a mate online...

This is utter B.S.! The people you meet online are the same maladaptive antisocial folks you could meet at a networking event, a job, the train, a club or on the street. The person, of the online profile, does live somewhere...the place they live: real life.

Abstinence: A new perspective, not about the value of your vagina, but about valuing your vagina..

Prior to my last partner, I hadn't had sex in over two years...This article inspired me to write on it

Problem: Whenever, I got close enough to someone to warrant this kind of personal revelation, I would always get the:

• why haven't you been having sex?
•  you are such a pretty girl?
•  Is it because you are crazy?
•  do you have something?
•  Are you a prude?"

The answers (had I chosen to entertain such ignorance) would have been like this:

•  blank stare
•  So, pretty girl =sex fiend (Judge mathis voice) ?
•  I have been called crazy and on occasion I have acted so-but it's always been provoked.  Crazy by me has never been performed in a vacum.
•  I do have something...lupus-I am afraid it's incommunicable-because I'd love to share it with you!
• Heavens no!

Ending=Beginning (finale)

is what my mom said, but when I am hurt...it's personal

"But they Family..." Oh?

They say experience forms an individual’s operative definitions for their day to day functioning. Based off of the personal, business and vicarious experiences of close friends-and friends, who feel they are close enough to tell me all of their business, though all of my body language says “This is inappropriate, I don’t know you like that-Please stop!”

My definition of family is as follows:

Family (N): A group loosely connected, usually by blood, that doesn’t know how to act if and when they come together because society is confuddled by and ever changing concept of family and morality.

When I am confronted with the threat of Family (Yes it’s a threat), I think fights, drama and baggage from a past that, I haven’t gotten over but, I have pretended like I have forgotten. I am not above admitting that I have had all types of  awful issues in my family ranging from, but not limited too; drug abuse, physical abuse, elder abuse and financial abuse. Calling to mind something my aunt used to tell me, “you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.” She ended it with a period, but I would have ended it with a question mark, “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family?” Why can’t we choose our families?