On Love: Do you really sleep with white women? do you feel bad about it?

So my mom dated Ving Rhames. Legend has it, he cooked her dinner in his home-but she didn't like him...But she never likes anyone cool.

She messed it up for my brother and I;  our dad could've been a movie star, an underrated movie star who once dressed as a woman, but a movie star none the less...Anyhow: My first experience with Ving was a little less personal:

 I saw him in the film Holiday Heart; (the snippet is one of my favorite scene) It made me think, about love and the Holidays: What does it mean to love? Granted when you are into someone, you recognize the flaws in their humanity, but you can look past it, generally , everything becomes negligible.  However, we cant always count on the people in our family, friend circle and other "informed outsiders"to be so diplomatic. This can often add all sorts of:

to your recipe for "grand love, especially now  that we are in the throes of the holiday season.

Grammar: why, how and where it matters may surprise you...

So...I online date...

Yeah, I know,  many people think its a horrible idea; because I am too good looking, too successful (cough ! cough!) and too together (hack cough) to seek a mate online...

This is utter B.S.! The people you meet online are the same maladaptive antisocial folks you could meet at a networking event, a job, the train, a club or on the street. The person, of the online profile, does live somewhere...the place they live: real life.

Bitter Medicine of Adulthood: choosing and choices

Some choices we makes for ourselves in life , and some we make for other people; not because we don't love them, but because we do.The only way we know its right, is if it lats us stay true to ourselves...but, we cant regret our choices:


well, at least, that's what they say, in clever TV shows that only last twenty minutes and revolve around the impossible; prostitutes with swollen bank accounts and many private lovers who want to take them off the auction block despite how they have been used...London must be so liberal. I loved that show. Also, this guy certainly echos this sentiment as well; he certainly made a choice and is without regret. Though I suppose, if you are going to kill someone , you shouldn't regret it-but his reasoning is just humorous in  the most macabre way...Anyway!

Abstinence: A new perspective, not about the value of your vagina, but about valuing your vagina..

Prior to my last partner, I hadn't had sex in over two years...This article inspired me to write on it

Problem: Whenever, I got close enough to someone to warrant this kind of personal revelation, I would always get the:

• why haven't you been having sex?
•  you are such a pretty girl?
•  Is it because you are crazy?
•  do you have something?
•  Are you a prude?"

The answers (had I chosen to entertain such ignorance) would have been like this:

•  blank stare
•  So, pretty girl =sex fiend (Judge mathis voice) ?
•  I have been called crazy and on occasion I have acted so-but it's always been provoked.  Crazy by me has never been performed in a vacum.
•  I do have something...lupus-I am afraid it's incommunicable-because I'd love to share it with you!
• Heavens no!

Why working on Thanksgiving is not tantamount to 12 years a slave...

Everyone doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving.(cue the American Indian)




In addition, everyone doesn't want to work holidays, making time and a half / triple time. However, if you want to make some extra money, you should have the option to.

His choice

Ending=Beginning (finale)

is what my mom said, but when I am hurt...it's personal

Relationships: "How it ended , is probably how it began" (Part two)

He then calmly said he had to go to work...
and I was like:                                                                   
 

Eff you and your job...

Why do I have to care about anyone's job but mine? (At this point he had already violated me , by putting my bag outside) So, he was worried... and he should have been because...

Relationship: "How it begins, is how it ends" (part one)

I hate dating.
I have lupus.
Dating takes a long time.
I want to have fun, love, lust, sex and travel around the world before I die.
Not to be macabre. but dating can pose a problem for someone with lupus, who may die in the time it takes to date and therefore wont be able to enjoy the aforementioned...

So that was my disclaimer of sorts, so you can know where I am coming from as I describe the events of today in a succinct , but satisfying manner...

finding a new place

Since being "moved" from my old place, I am searching for a new place-alone.

When I say that I am not looking with a roomate, people look at me like:









Apparently, being alone is a luxury...which has forced me
to ponder what being alone in an apartment will mean:

-probably not shopping at whole foods-ever again.
-No extracurricular activities that don't involve work.
-No new friends or old ones.

and so on and so forth...







Which is probably why almost everyone I know has roommates .

On Miss America

Little known facet: I was a  runner up in an Beautiful Baby, New York contest. I should have won first place. When I didn't I am sure I looked like this



At two. 

Now, as a sophisticated intellectual, I take pride in not watching pageants anymore.The black girl never wins anyway; no matter how gorgeous, wonderful, poised, or educated. However, something of historical interest happened this past weekend.

Nina Davuluri became the first Indian American to win Miss America ever, in 2014.

I think that is dope, however many people across the country don't.  One man actually said, on twitter, "Miss America, you mean Miss 7-11"

MTV VMA 2013 Observations

                                                  Normally I don't do this , but whatever...

However, this probably has more to do with the fact that I work, school and parent my bunny, so I usually  never have time for this

Mainstream Media resists a fair representation of black people...

Word?!!? Noooo!

I went to this event, a few months ago...on May 15, 2013, by mistake . This guy, whom I met on the internet, wanted to meet here.

He was ,and is, the bougie for no reason at all type and wanted to "be seen" on 'the scene'. So I met him at MIST: Harlem for this Black , Brown and Digital event.( more about his nutty ass later, maybe)

Anyway, it was at this event I discovered some new trendy things worth my time: New Web series and independent film to watch, when I cant download anymore reality TV . I  won't lie and say I have watched it all, but one day/sleepless night coming soon, I may, but For now, I am going to lay down an interest list and do a 'few' lines of thought for each, with a meme that sums it up. No particular order.

READY. SET. GO:

On Sex;evolution of experience

Sex is something for porn stars and college students, who don't know any better. Either you can focus on making it something beautiful for you, or a thing of beauty for the masses.

I prefer it to be beautiful for me and mines...whomever that is

The battle of the Indian vs the African aka Personal Natural Hair Challenge

I have this really great curly hair...

yet, sometimes, most times, I have this unyielding desire to look like everyone else. I want that sleek , straight hair situation...


Though I would never get a perm....
I will flat iron my hair into submission, like a foster parent is rumored to beat bad children...often.

My computer was so stolen! What I did.

     With the exception of the first computer, I have ever bought (a second hand mac in 2005), I have abused every computer I have ever owned. So, when I bought my first new computer, and I found out best buy had a insurance option that covered accidental damage,I was like:













So I bought my computer, had more than a few accidents, then I got more insurance.

Solicitation on the Train is Illegal, but for those who insist...

This guy

 
I am not.
Not a dime, nickel, or a quarter...

Homeless; a working definition

Homeless or not, my standards haven't changed. If anything they have risen since I have moved...back with "'moms and 'em".

Coincidentally Ms. Kendra, while not homeless, has one home less-because she was evicted...

However, I hate when people look at me like... I have a problem because I am just home with my mom like

Homeless : Eating out, but not outside...

Living at home, allows me to eat out a lot...because I save money on things: namely rent.

For the unoccupied intellectual Insomniac who needs something to do-because they can't get done...

 Art, Websites, Films Ideas, with links to films and discussion boards that I find interesting...Don't judge me!  (I will add more as I discover) Check back often

Henna: "Ish" I like

I am a "scary" (as many of my southern relations call it), so I don't do real tattoos; I am extremely afraid that I will turn 80 and have a big old golden rose on or, god forbid,, someones name on my booty. Hey, if you have one of these things-if you like it-I love it. It still isn't for me.

I have thought about getting a quote or something Egyptian, like Rhianna...maybe when I am to old to care...

Anywhosits, I decided not to make any permanent solutions for the temporary problem of not having any ink-I made a temporary decision instead and got a henna tattoo.

See you at the Crossroads: (yes, no, maybe?)

My sister's brother died a few days ago.He was twenty.

His funeral is today at 11am. I was trying to figure out what happened, mainly because, when you are relatively young and someone younger than you dies-even if the connection is arbitrary, it's worrisome. I wanted to know how he died, but I wouldn't dare ask-because that would be insensitive.
 
SO , instead of asking, I googled:
And what I found...:

Resolved: Thought(s) On funerals

Funerals are hard for me, and that is part of the reason "I don't really do" them , because they are so hard, long and fake..oh, and early...

Idealy, a funeral is the one place where you should "get it how you live", but propriety stifles people from telling it like it is strangely enough, in the last place they probably will be able too.

"But they Family..." Oh?

They say experience forms an individual’s operative definitions for their day to day functioning. Based off of the personal, business and vicarious experiences of close friends-and friends, who feel they are close enough to tell me all of their business, though all of my body language says “This is inappropriate, I don’t know you like that-Please stop!”

My definition of family is as follows:

Family (N): A group loosely connected, usually by blood, that doesn’t know how to act if and when they come together because society is confuddled by and ever changing concept of family and morality.

When I am confronted with the threat of Family (Yes it’s a threat), I think fights, drama and baggage from a past that, I haven’t gotten over but, I have pretended like I have forgotten. I am not above admitting that I have had all types of  awful issues in my family ranging from, but not limited too; drug abuse, physical abuse, elder abuse and financial abuse. Calling to mind something my aunt used to tell me, “you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.” She ended it with a period, but I would have ended it with a question mark, “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family?” Why can’t we choose our families?

The Fitness Routine

I went to Puerto Rico, and threatened to drop a bikini pic. It was a false , empty threat, as I saw the pictures and I was not pleased with the way I represented in my bikini. I don't know if I can ever post it, even in a before and after way. I was "sloppy fluffy" and after seeing the picture, I had a "I need to do better" moment, because bathing suits (especially bikini's ) are truly unforgiving-even if you are a skinny girl.


Vacation will inspire you...in a multitude of ways (writing this from KY right now)

Turning the Page

Sometimes I get stuck.

When this happens, I sit: at home, on the bus, at my office,hair salon, on a train etc... and I read books...Good books (Novels and Memoirs mostly)

Check the  right hand panel for my 2013 reading list aka what I have been reading in the aforementioned places. As of this post, there are only three, but as the great dialogue of "Game of Thrones" (which I don't watch-yet) repeats "there will be blood" or in this case: many pages, attached to different bindings that will be opened and devoured by my eyes..

Check for that, and also there will be reviews...of books and of author regarding what the content evoked out of me (and what it may evoke out of you). We all have our day to day obstacles, so we have to be careful about what we we spend our time on. Reading can be fundamental, if one reads the "write" things..

Books cost money and take up space

Since I occasionally get new books . for free, from a few publishing house-why not save time, space and money by checking out my short and hopefully unbiased reviews...

Also when they are done, I will probably give them away-if there is interest :-)
The Icing on the cake.

Road to Eviction (The what had happened)

I had a couple of people write to me, I guess by way of this blog, and ask me when I was going to write about what got me evicted since it wasn't:

1. being a residential terrorist(loud parties/not following rules of the building)
2. not paying my rent

SO I decided to divide the story into five parts

Word of the Week (4/4/13)

Cog·i·tate 

Panty Gate Conclusion and Couple TV Time

So, WE- the "not so significant other"  and chatted about his "illegal panty" possession. It went better than I thought. Talking is ok...

Panty Gate (The Brewing storm)

Now, it's official, no one can ever claim that I am unfair/ jump to conclusions. Even when I want to just:

Even when the other party deserves it, "no 'bout a doubt it"...I don't.

Puerto Rico; Bikini dreams over Rice and Beans

I am having a major first world problem...most people in Harlem would bring it to the block, but since I have an education and a job now-I decided to bring it to the blog instead. Straight like that!

 

I am going to Puerto Rico in March with my "not so significant other" (NSSO) , and I need a new bathing suit-perferably white, revealing and tan off-setting!

Here's what I have found thus far (in no particular order):

Just Move? wha?

Personally, I was for too long seduced by an impossible ideal of living in a huge Harlem apartment , alone, with  "outrageously low" rent until I expired from happiness ...

However I "learnt tahday!" that just wasn't my lot in life...


So, here are some things I learned (in anticipation of the moving process)

Fixing for an eviction...

So, I was on a mission to just write something, ANYTHING to keep this from being a blog that is more style than substance-which is harder than I thought...

Even when you are lacking things to do (always) , and have everything else TO DO (always),  but write about the innocuous, annoying, striking and whatever else relentlessly holds your attentions hostage(usually something on the internet). It's hard to articulate ..So when all else fails, I write about the present:

Anatomy of a Blog!

Here's a rundown on what I will talk about-besides "general ME, stuff",